Dissecting Space Jam: Important

(Why yes. That is a Pulp Fiction reference. And, yes, Dick Dale's "Misirlou" did briefly play. Thanks for asking!) I watched Space Jam earlier today (I also watched Broken Flowers and The Descent. Both exceeded my expectations. The latter is forcing me to sleep with my lights on tonight.) As a rule, I try not to watch movies that I watched over and over in my younger days. They tend to suck. However, I needed something to watch while dominating the Atlanta Braves with the Washington Nationals and Space Jam was available for streaming on NetFlix. It wasn't awful. It wasn't good, but nobody seems to be taking it too seriously -- especially Bill Murray, who appears to hate every moment... and it's hilarious. I'm gonna go ahead and call his performance career changing. (Broken Flowers would have never happened without Space Jam. Full circle. Boo-yah.)

Anyway, a couple things caught my attention that relate to today's sports world. Many people credit the 2001-2002 New England Patriots as the team that decided to enter the Super Bowl as a team, instead of individuals.

In reality, though, they probably just stole it from the MonStars.

After the ToonSquad, the home team (They just had to enter first. Dicks.), is introduced one-by-one in a lengthy and showy spectacle. The MonStars enter the arena as one. And thoroughly dominate the Toons for the entire first half.

Also, something that has been covered before: The issue of steroids in Space Jam. (That linked guy is obviously taking a tongue-in-cheek approach. This, of course, will be professional journalism.)

Adam Littman of Pitt News focuses on the power source of the MonStars, the "talent" of five NBA players. The tiny inhabitants inject the "talent" and are instantly transformed into basketball super-athletes. But that's not nearly as distressing as what the "good guys" do:


That's right. At the half, Bugs Bunny offers up "Michael's Secret Stuff" as the Toons key to victory. Michael Jordan responds to the early hesitance with "You wanna win or not?" Every character laps it up and wants more. The team comes out of the locker room energized and confident. The audience knows from the beginning that Bugs just presented the others with water in order to improve their self esteem, but the way the Toons willingly "cheat" is disturbing. What are we teaching our 1996 children. "Hey, if a cartoon offers you a secret potion that he says will improve your athletic ability at halftime of some game, take it, as long as the greatest player of that sport approves."

So, to sum things up, Space Jam is directly responsible for the Steroid Era in Major League Baseball. Once you looked, it was obvious.

And, hey, here's Broken Flowers in full. Surely, it can't exceed your expectations! Let's watch:



(Space Jam screencaps are from NetFlix (or maybe just Netflix) Watch Instantly. Thanks!)