Wherein I over-analyze the joke at the bottom of Dan Patrick's "Just my Type" page in Sports Illustrated. These jokes are so wonderfully awful, I hope they are supposed to be a parody.
From Last Week’s SI (with a dangerous chalk mist floating in the air)
“Astronauts made repairs to the giant Hubble Space Telescope. Unfortunately, it still can’t find Versus.”
Why It Is Hilarious
The Hubble Space Telescope is used to locate and research objects at extreme distances from Earth. Versus has been notoriously hard for some people to locate on the cable providers. The telescope tried and failed to locate the network on its cable box.
Why It Sucks
Versus’ signal would be traveling via satellite. The signal would be invisible to the telescope. Also, this joke is four years old. Versus is now available on DirecTV, the Dish, and many cable providers.
PS – I hope this never comes off as me hating SI. I like SI. It’s infinitely better than ESPN the Magazine (and thanks to them, SI is Rick Reilly free!). I do hope comes off as me hating Dan Patrick. About ten years ago, Patrick was very good on Sportscenter. Now, he’s arrogant, annoying, and not funny. That’s not fair because I haven’t listened to his radio show since he left ESPN, but I doubt SI gave him a lot of money and he instantly became interesting.
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