Review: 'Kobe Doin' Work'

Kobe Doin’ Work is worthless. You do not get anything out of it more than watching the regular broadcast. It is the type of movie that only makes me think about how it could have been better: Why Kobe? Yes, he’s a great player – the MVP last year. But, he is such a boring, filtered guy. He is always aware of his situation. You are not going learn anything about his personality from a fairly meaningless (the #1 seed, I guess, was on the line) game at the end of the regular season.

Director Spike Lee and his longtime cinematographer Matthew Libatique set up 30 cameras during the April 13th, 2008 Lakers/Spurs game (Of course, Scoop Jackson got that widely publicized fact totally wrong. He writes the shoot took place “last May for one Lakers playoff game against the Spurs.” In his defense, it is well-documented that Scoop Jackson is terrible at his job (To be fair, that is not entirely Jackson’s fault. He probably had not seen the movie yet. But how did his editor let that slip through?).). Most of the cameras focus on Bryant throughout the game. The others are used to show the setting (wide shots from the ceiling of the arena, shots of Kobe’s daughters in the stands). Lee said he was inspired to make this by Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait, which focused on French soccer star Zinedine Zidane during one game.

The game action is given context through the occasional mix of the ESPN broadcast and a taping of Bryant doing essentially an audio commentary (that taping took place just after Bryant scored 61 points on Spike Lee’s beloved New York Knicks). Bryant stays, not surprisingly, safe with everything he says. He speaks gushingly about Phil Jackson and his teammates. The only time he comes close to being animated is when he gets on himself, calling himself an “idiot” a few times.

The best of those moments occurs just prior to halftime. Bryant has to do the silly halftime interview with ESPN's Michelle Tafoya. He's sweating and giving the usual bland, uncontroversial, uninteresting, answers. In his commentary, Bryant reveals that all he really wants to do at that point is sit down. He says, “I look like an idiot.” He thinks he is just making fun of himself, but he also is pointing out the stupidity of all sideline-type interviews. They are always awful. Stop doing them.

In the end, this Spike Lee Joint is just boring. Yeah, it’s funny when Kobe gives advice to Luke Walton and Walton sounds shocked that Kobe even knows his name, but there really is nothing noteworthy about Kobe Doin’ Work. It just exists.

(PS: Go Magic!!)

Throat Slash

I should be doing work. I'm not. I just finished watching basketball and now I'm posting on a blog for an audience of one (Two? Phlip?).

There was a lot of "chippiness" (to use the technical term) during the Lakers/Rockets game tonight. After a few technicals, Derek Fisher spotted Luis Scola approaching to set a pick. He ran his right shoulder into Scola's chest. Flagrant 2. He was rightly ejected and should be suspended for the next game.

After that, the broadcasters (Harlan and Collins) noted that the referees were not going to call the rest of the game tight--lots of whistles. Kobe picked up a T for taunting Shane Battier. Later, Kobe and Ron Artest were battling for a rebound, Kobe threw an elbow, Artest got called for a foul. The wrong call. Artest argued the call to no avail. He, then, went cross court to confront Kobe (Barkley: "You can't let somebody put his damn elbow in your face."). He was pried away quickly, but as he was trying to explain that Kobe hit him, he made an unfortunate gesture. He slid his hand across his throat. It looked like the throat slash. Not a good thing. Seeing this in real time, I immediately thought he had to be ejected.

...

Fuck! I've written myself into a corner! I don't know how to make this relevant.

Okay, this post sucks. I should just delete it. I guess the point is: I'm disappointed no one pointed out what I noticed. Of course, the game ended, like, 30 minutes ago. I guess I should give it some time.

Since that was inane, I'll pose this question: What exactly is Craig Sager's job? His post-game interview with Ron Artest felt totally unprofessional. He was trying to get a controversial quote. He basically asked Artest if he was going to return Kobe's elbow in Game 3. Despite past situations, Artest is a smart guy. He is not going to get himself fined. Go away, Sager.