Declaration of Principles

I.

WE WILL PROVIDE THE PEOPLE OF THIS INTERNET WITH A DAILY PAPER THAT WILL TELL ALL THE NEWS HONESTLY.

II.

WE WILL ALSO PROVIDE THEM WITH A FIGHTING AND TIRELESS CHAMPION OF THEIR RIGHTS AS CITIZENS AND AS HUMAN BEINGS.

III.

ABOVE ALL ELSE, WE ARE DEDICATED TO ENLIGHTENING OUR BILLIONS OF VIEWERS AS TO WHAT WE ARE P-M-S-ING ABOUT AT ANY PARTICULAR TIME.

Phlip Gatsby
Sweeney
Harry Waters